Mini Macr0

Mini_Macr0O' The Spider Sorcier they/them
Occupation	Alcoholic
Age	What's 9 + 10?
Species	Selenocosmia crassipes
Legspan	6 to 22 centimeters
Weight	28 grams
Eyes	Eight of them
Habitat	East coast and tropical/subtropical regions
Status	Least concern

"I had a dream Bearman become a Minecraft 100 days channel and collabed with Like The Notable "

Biography

Macro was created on a small island off the coast of WA, Intercourse Island. This island had no intercourse, nor was Macro born from such foul obscenities. Instead, Macro was brought forth into this world via a mad scientist that many mistakenly identify as Yakub. With 8 fleshy legs and 8 large eyes, Macro was glad to have been created far away from the judgmental eyes of humanity. However, as the years dragged by Macro began to yearn, not for companionship, nor fame, nor to even see the world. Instead, Macro yearned to watch YouTube videos created by a Gilbert. With a Gilbert sized hole in his soul, Macro paddled away from the seclusion of Intercourse Island, following the electro-magnetic static of a personal computer. For days and nights Macro travelled, across desolate beaches and deserts that stained their flesh legs red from iron dust, yet still Macro persisted, for he could hear Gilbert. The merciless sun beat down without relent, and slowly his 8 legs began to blacken and wither. Macro survived with the nourishment their sun baked legs gave them, until only two remained. Finally, after weeks of travel, Macro came across an Adani Group mining settlement, and with glee Macro rushed towards the main office, hearing the whine of the personal computer grow with each set. Macro burst into the office and sat upon a plastic chair and frantically began to type. For hours Macro typed with the fervor of a drunk miner looking for a wife from Thailand. And behold, Macro came across his South East Asian wife, a MOSSAD agent from Jersey... The daddy of Gilbert. But before Macro could pull down his pants, Bazza, the foreman, came across the enthralled Macro, who had lost all perception of the outside world. Bazza plucked Macro from the plastic chair, and punted the poor creature far out of sight. Macro flew through the air, falling and falling, falling further than the ground should allow. After what felt like a lifetime, Macro landed deep in the bowels of a clearcut quarry. Twitching back and forth, with fluid leaking from his leggy stumps, Macro lay in the dark, quietly dreaming of Gilbert until he could dream no more.

Manifesto

With the military and CIA’s vested interest in spreading disinformation to completely confuse the UFO community we have never had any good information about UFOs, but I’ve got the real scoop folks, I’m gonna tell you exactly what’s going on with UFOs, I’ll give you the short version and then you can buy my book to find out the rest if you’re interested. Are you ready? Buckle up motherfuckers! Yes there are aliens that visit us but they aren’t what you think, when they make psychic contact with a human they usually portray themselves as a grey alien but that’s not quite what they are. They sometimes teach humans how to build technologies but the information they share with us doesn’t come from futuristic aliens from far away, it comes from a time in the distant past here on earth. A long time ago a race of beings lived with us here on earth, a silicon-based life-form that was sometimes called gods, angels, even elves this silicon skin would appear white, blue, even green sometimes it looked like it had scales so early humans mistook them as fish people or lizard people. These beings ruled us as gods and even warred with each other, all ancient flying saucer technology comes from them. These angels fell from grace and their human hybrid offspring eventually died off, most of them in the great flood which wasn’t 5,000 years ago like the bible says, it was closer to 13,000 years ago when a comet hit the earth during the ice age quickly melting the polar caps wiping out all civilisation forcing humanity to start again. These godlike beings are still out there and they are watching us. The Moses Exodus myth is based on a Sumerian tale that describes a time when humanity was liberated from an evil alien by a good alien, this is depicted in Sumerian art. At the turn of the 19th century people within both the United States and Germany were becoming obsessed with the occult, during World War Two Aleister Crowley was the main influence for the entire movement, Crowley’s wife began channeling a cosmic being that looks an awful lot like an alien grey. This being shared information about magic and technology with Crowley who then passed it onto the Nazi SS, Hitler’s own occult organisation, which was also communicating with their own beings which were being channeled through the Vril society. Hitler used his military resources to travel the world in search of ancient occult artifacts including technologies that were left behind by the people who built the pyramids, they used what they found to build an antigravity device they called The Bell. When they first tested it the plasmatic mercury engines kicked out so much radiation it melted everyone within a 1,000 yard radius this was portrayed in Indiana Jones: Ark of the Covenant, the ark opening represents the occult knowledge from the gods being unlocked (oh yeah man, Lucas and Spielberg are totally tuned into this shit). On its own The Bell couldn’t do much, just hover, but they eventually coupled that technology with an air vortexing platform that was being designed by a different department. When completed the vehicle took on an extremely familiar flying saucer design. After the war was over Hitler and the SS took their designs with them to the South Pole where they built a comprehensive military base and a massive fleet of jets and flying saucers. The Allies scooped up as much technology as they could from Germany along with a collection of Nazi scientists and engineers through Project Paperclip. In 1946 the US Navy took 4,000 troops and an entire fleet of ships and planes along with troops from several other countries to invade the Nazi controlled South Pole in operation Highjump. The American planes were absolutely outclassed by the Nazi technology and they left defeated, Hitler no longer had an excuse to hide his technology, the cat was out of the bag, so the Nazis began sending out their saucers and stealth jets to harass the United States military. In 1947 one of these flying saucers crashed in Roswell, New Mexico killing all of the occupants. The United States Air Force quickly covered up the crash with two fake stories, a “reasonable” one for your average Joe claiming it was a weather balloon and to confuse people who like “conspiracy theories” they staged a leak of a fake story about aliens from outer space to confuse the public and hide the truth. The United States quickly started work on back-engineering the saucer wreckage from Roswell, a secret government group called Majestic 12 formed that year and took charge of the occult aspect of the technology learning everything they could by communicating with the spirit beings, even facilitating building them fake bodies to possess. All of these beings need us and our energy to thrive, they need us to live, so the last thing they want is for humanity to die off, they actively disrupt nuclear weapons facilities. The United States military started building their own saucers at area 51 but had little success at first, the Nazis continued to fly their saucers over the Continental United States and even made a show of force in Washington DC by buzzing the capital in a Nazi formation. The US has working technology now, but to this day the Nazis remain the occultic and technological leaders of the world, they’ve infiltrated every level of government and are planning a fake invasion of the earth. The Nazis will play the role of the invading aliens and the Fallen Angels will pretend to come in and save us, fooling humanity into ushering in the New World Order with Satan himself sitting at the throne ruling the world from a temple in Israel.

Controversies

Perfect beings born in a lab can do no wrong.

References

Terry Davis