E soup

E soup they/them
Aliases	e_slop, soup, e_soup
Occupation	Patreon
Species	Human?
Gender	Non-Binary
Height	5'2"
Weight	125
Eyes	Hardly Functional
Appears in	The Bearman3600 Discord Server
Status	Alive

"sometimes i jork it a lil"

Biography

e_soup is a member of the Bearman3600 Discord server and a member of Bearman3600's Patreon at the "Fuck you and your shit content" ($20/mo.) tier.

About

e_soup is most likely a human being who lives on Earth. They also may or may not be hospitalized from rheumatic heart disease.

As of April 2026, it has been unanimously decided that e_soup is the worst thing to ever exist, beating out The Super Mario Galaxy Movie by a narrow margin.

E_soup often behaves in an eccentric manner, often to the point of irritation. It is not fully understood if this eccentricity is purposefully dramatic, or how they genuinely behave. Furthermore, E_soup is not consistently odd. It seems almost entirely random whether they will sober up and act normally or not at any given time. Despite in lack of consistent annoyances and mannerisms, traits of wishing upon "Goth Mommies" or "Femboys" emerge once so often. Most notably a thrice mention in one full day. "I want a 6'2" goth dommy mommy to call me a good girl and make me pretty" being the genesis of a new trend of post irony.[citation needed]

There have been times where E_soup has gotten muted in the Discord server for being too out-of-pocket.

E_soup is considered to be an unrepentant alcoholic. They often brag about getting "shitfaced drunk" to nobody who actually cares. Despite being under the age of purchasing alcohol in the United States, they somehow manage to obtain a steady supply of both beer and hard liquor from unknown sources.

Jeep Commander (XK)

E_soup's 2006 Jeep Commander

E_soup owns and drives a 2006 Jeep Commander (XK). While e_soup has noted that their Commander is not of high quality, noting that it has "issues upon issues," they seem to have an emotional attachment to it, for various reasons. e_soup notes that they like the V8 engine, the relative simplicity of the vehicle compared to modern cars, and that it was given to them for free from his granduncle. Furthermore, e_soup shares a birth year with the Commander's model year. e_soup primarily uses their Jeep to transport their dog Ares to and from the dog park, as well as commute to work/errands. It is their daily driver and currently their only vehicle.

Specs

The Commander that e_soup drives features the Chrysler 4.7L Powertech engine, 2WD, cloth seats, and a (currently non-functional) Boston Acoustics amplifier. As of March 17, 2026, the odometer reads 131331 miles.

Issues

E_soup's Jeep Commander is currently in a state of mild disrepair, which is to be expected given the age of the vehicle and its origins. Some of the more notable issues include:

• The amplifier is not functional.
• The check engine light is on because of a dead catalytic converter on bank 2.
• The LR tire has a faulty TPMS sensor.
• The interior door handle on the driver's door does not open the door; the door must be opened using the external handle.
• There are no seatbelt buckles in the third row of seating.

Lore

Sometime in late 2025, e_soup was involved in a hit-and-run accident with Bearman3600's vehicle in a Walmart parking lot[4]. After an unsuccessful attempt to receive Bearman3600's insurance information, e_soup later learned that the vehicle had actually been stolen at the time and was being driven by an unknown carjacker. About two months later, the suspected carjacker had crashed Bearman3600's vehicle while not wearing a seatbelt, killing them instantly[5]. The autopsy of the body reveals that they had a BAC exceeding 0.2, possibly leading to their crash and death. e_soup and Bearman3600 then looted the corpse and split the cash to pay for new cars.